Новое приключенческое кино Анчартед: На картах не значится/Uncharted – это “Лара Крофт” для теток: вместо Джоли в облегашечке, охотящейся за сокровищами, – Челопук Том Холланд с голым торсом, Том Халланд в мокрой майке и Том Холланд в облегашечке, охотящийся за сокровищами. Для старопердуниц – Уолберг в майке.

Крошка Нейт и крошка Сэм выросли в приюте. Они пребывают в уверенности, что являются потомками Фрэнсиса Дрейка. Преследуемый полицией Сэм сваливает на долгие годы и посылает крошке Нейту открытки. Тот трудится себе барменом и немножко ворует, пока его не находит авантюрист/мошенник/вор/искатель приключений Салли, знающий Сэма. Салли подряжает Нейта на поиски давным-давно просранного моряками Магеллана золотишка.

Кино снято по компутерной игре. Пыщ-пыщ! Тайны, сокровища, скрытые символы, море-солнце, головокружительные трюки, боевые тетки, искроментый юмор и отличнейший дуэт малехо сморщенного Уолберга и очень тугого Холланда (сиськи!) В общем, отличная залипуха на два часа для любителей жанра. Украинский перевод, как обычно жжот: от фраз “згинуть наші вороженьки” и “батя, я стараюсь” зал прилег. Девятилетке понравилось, с дитями можно и даже нужно.

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