Ипучая природа: белые медведи

Белые медведи считаются самыми большими наземными хищниками. Более того, тетки у них в два раза меньше мужиков, так что белый медведь не отличается галантностью, ему не надо, его не сожрут.

Polar bear lying on the ice. Churchill, Canada.

– Ооооо, – орет медвед, – теткааа!

И начинает таскаться за тёткой, как образцовый сталкер, пытаясь загнать ее в угол.

– Да ты заебал, – в какой-то момент говорит тетка. – Легче один раз дать, чем два часа объяснять, почему не хочешь.

– Это я еще не заебал, – радостно говорит медвед и шпилит несчастную полтора часа кряду своей костью. Да, у медведа там кость. После удачного шпиленья медвед ещё какое-то время уныло таскается за теткой, чтобы закрепить успех.

Правда, фартит так не всегда. Если за теткой таскается несколько кандидатов, им приходится драться. Тетка в это время сваливает или ест козявки, по настроению.

Если медведица считает, что не готова пока стать матерью, например, чрезмерно тоща, она откладывает вопрос на несколько месяцев.

Спиногрызы живут с медведицей долго, так что года два можно отдохнуть от унылых медвежих ухаживаний.

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