Исторический кружок: Савонарола

В 1 веке нашей эры поэт-сатирик Ювенал, желая повыебываться и посарказмировать, придумал фразу “хлеба и зрелищ”. Изначально будучи сатирической, фраза приобрела несколько иное звучание, подчёркивая сермяжную правду жизни: правитель, накорми и развлеки, иначе тебе песда. К сожалению, некоторые фюpеpы на протяжении истории ее забывают, подменяя что-то одно или оба (хрючево и веселье) – страхом. На выходе всегда получается хйня.

Джироламо Савонарола не всегда был унылым говном. Ему нравились тетки, он читал античных авторов. А потом ему не обломилось. Любовное разочарование Савонарола заел религией и щедро накормил окружающих.

Сначала окружающие жрать не хотели. Во Флоренции все было охуенно: красиво, тепло, тетки в бусах, искусство процветает, кругом голые статуи. Но потом Флоренция выиграла буллшит бинго: умер Лоренцо Медичи (и у статуй отвалились писюны), Папой стал Родриго Борджиа (и в Ватикане все охуели), а Савонарола с почетной грамотой закончил курсы ораторского искусства и стал монахом.

– Вам песда! – убедительно сказал Савонарола добрым жителям Флоренции. – Если вы сей секунд не покаетесь, нагла смерть, вилы в жопу, пекельный огонь и вот это вот все.

С флорентийцами давно так никто не разговаривал, и они решили испугаться. Савонарола четыре года мастерски нагнетал, выдумывая все новые ужасы. Но напрочь забыл про хлеб и зрелища, а также о том, что людей заебывает бояться. Ещё один роковой проеб Савонаролы: постоянное обсирание Папы и Борджиа в целом.

Борджиа в свою очередь не дремали и вели активную подрывную деятельность. Родриго грозился, запрещал Савонароле проповедовать, отлучал его от церкви, но тот уже раздухарился. Добрые жители Флоренции, сжегшие на кострах произведения искусства, бусинки и красивые шмотки, полностью охуевшие от скуки и унылой жратвы, начали закипать, как каструлка. Вопли Савонаролы про загробный пиздец их уже не пугали, они хотели жить здесь и сейчас, вкусно жрать и получать удовольствие от жизни. Все время бояться очень утомительно. Это вам скажет любой человек, переживший прошлый год.

Родриго Борджиа, он же Папа Римский Александр 6, в сериале Борджиа

Когда Савонарола скипнул испытание огнем, добрые жители Флоренции поняли, что их наебали. Папа Римский вцепился в Савонаролу и сожрал его с говном. Жители Флоренции нацепили бусинки и принялись жрать мраморную говядину.

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