В 1 веке нашей эры поэт-сатирик Ювенал, желая повыебываться и посарказмировать, придумал фразу “хлеба и зрелищ”. Изначально будучи сатирической, фраза приобрела несколько иное звучание, подчёркивая сермяжную правду жизни: правитель, накорми и развлеки, иначе тебе песда. К сожалению, некоторые фюpеpы на протяжении истории ее забывают, подменяя что-то одно или оба (хрючево и веселье) – страхом. На выходе всегда получается хйня.
Джироламо Савонарола не всегда был унылым говном. Ему нравились тетки, он читал античных авторов. А потом ему не обломилось. Любовное разочарование Савонарола заел религией и щедро накормил окружающих.
Сначала окружающие жрать не хотели. Во Флоренции все было охуенно: красиво, тепло, тетки в бусах, искусство процветает, кругом голые статуи. Но потом Флоренция выиграла буллшит бинго: умер Лоренцо Медичи (и у статуй отвалились писюны), Папой стал Родриго Борджиа (и в Ватикане все охуели), а Савонарола с почетной грамотой закончил курсы ораторского искусства и стал монахом.
– Вам песда! – убедительно сказал Савонарола добрым жителям Флоренции. – Если вы сей секунд не покаетесь, нагла смерть, вилы в жопу, пекельный огонь и вот это вот все.
С флорентийцами давно так никто не разговаривал, и они решили испугаться. Савонарола четыре года мастерски нагнетал, выдумывая все новые ужасы. Но напрочь забыл про хлеб и зрелища, а также о том, что людей заебывает бояться. Ещё один роковой проеб Савонаролы: постоянное обсирание Папы и Борджиа в целом.
Борджиа в свою очередь не дремали и вели активную подрывную деятельность. Родриго грозился, запрещал Савонароле проповедовать, отлучал его от церкви, но тот уже раздухарился. Добрые жители Флоренции, сжегшие на кострах произведения искусства, бусинки и красивые шмотки, полностью охуевшие от скуки и унылой жратвы, начали закипать, как каструлка. Вопли Савонаролы про загробный пиздец их уже не пугали, они хотели жить здесь и сейчас, вкусно жрать и получать удовольствие от жизни. Все время бояться очень утомительно. Это вам скажет любой человек, переживший прошлый год.
Когда Савонарола скипнул испытание огнем, добрые жители Флоренции поняли, что их наебали. Папа Римский вцепился в Савонаролу и сожрал его с говном. Жители Флоренции нацепили бусинки и принялись жрать мраморную говядину.
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