В некотором царстве, некотором государстве жил царь. У него было какое-то количество жён и какое-то количество детей. Некоторые детишечки повыросли, а некоторые так и нет, дело было давно, все вымирали, как не в себя. Детишечек надо было женить, но в этом царстве особых проблем с выбором жён/мужей царским детям не было, их женили между собой, чтоб не раздрызгивать драгоценные царские жидкости.
Девочке Хатшепсут оставшийся братец Тутмос 2 не нравился, он слыл злобным и не очень умным уебком, но других уже не было.
– Значится, так, – сказала Хатшепсут свеженькому супругу. – Тебя в детстве няня выронила из коляски, и это очень заметно. Иди к своим бабам, наделай тутмосят, разбавь гены, все лучше, чем жертвы имбридинга, как ты. Пока Тутмос работал чреслами, Хатшепсут подгребала под себя власть. Вскоре Тутмос закончился, но от одной из его наложниц у него остался тутмосенок.
– Все, что нажито непосильным трудом! Связи, власть, положение – отдать тутмосенку?!! – возопила Хатшепсут. – Да нихуя!
Жрецы и придворные Хатшепсут радостно поддержали, потому что она была умная и красивая, а тутмосенок еще маленький и царской крови только наполовину, в отличие от. Жрецы только попросили соблюсти приличия и прикинуться фараоном на торжественных мероприятиях.
– Может, мне ещё и титул Могучий Бык оставить? – саркастически поинтересовалась царица. Но жрецы решили, что это лишнее и обошлись накладной бородой на резинке.
Хатшепсут очень любила строить, так что при ней построили кучу всего сохранившегося до наших дней, включая ее собственный заупокойный храм (сделайте в стиле хай-тек, – сказала царица, чтоб современно смотрелось спустя три тыщи лет минимум). Зарабатывать деньги она умела, так что на все хватило. Повоевать ей тоже пришлось, причем она не стала отлынивать и лично возглавляла походы. Тутмосенка она не угандонила, потому что у нее была только дочь и не факт, что ее приняли бы благосклонно. Его выпустили из храмового туалета, где он плакал, и сделали из него вояку.
Угробил Хатшепсут стоматолог, а вовсе не Тутмосенок, как долго было принято считать. Но тот, обозлившись за сидение в туалете, обоссал все обелиски Хатшепсут, а затем по совету приближенных попытался уничтожить все, что от нее осталось. Но не потому что он был злобный пиздюк, а из политических соображений, типа чтобы придать своему правлению большую легитимность. Кстати, из Тутмосенка вырос великий фараон.
Считалось, что царица проебана в веках, но потом ее с восторгом обнаружили в куче других мумий в Каирском музее. Нашли также тот самый зуб и даже кишочки.
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