Исторический кружок: мужик-молния

В 3 веке до н.э. жил-был чувак очень голубых кровей, звали его Ḥmlqrt, потому что в финикийском письме не было гласных, а прозвище его было Молния/Барка/Керавн, потому что он был резкий, как понос. Больше всего на свете он не любил две вещи: сцыкунов и Рим. Стоило при нем упомянуть Вечный Город, как он тут же разражался воплями про Империю Зла. “Да, папа, мы знааааееем”, – закатывали глазки под лобики несовершеннолетние сыновья Флэша. В общем, вариантов у них не было, упоротый папаша даже заставил их присягнуть, что они положат жизнь на угандонивание Рима.

Впрочем, угандонили папашу совсем в другом месте, в Испании, но свою пламенную ненависть он-таки успел вколотить сыначкам в головы. Старшего из них звали Hnbʿl, от папы и за заслуги он тоже получил прозвище Флэш. Но это было позже, а пока крошка Флэш и его братья, едва отлучившись от груди и памперса, отправились с папашей в поход, где росли в походно-полевых условиях. Вариантов жизненного пути у Флэша не было: после смерти отца, а затем зятя Флэш сам стал пиздить испанские племена во славу родного города Карфагена.

“Тока дайте мне повод”, – злобно шипел Флэш, ожидая, провокаций римлян, у которых тоже были виды на Испанию. Срач сделался из-за города Сагунта. “Сагунтанаш!” – орали обе стороны, но победил Ганнибал. “Ты охуел!” – заорали в Риме, и Флэш понял, что сейчас будут бить, потому нужно бить первым. “Здравствуйте, суки!” – заорал Флэш, вваливаясь в Италию. “Хуйня с хуйней на морде!” – в ужасе заорали там при виде слоников.

Римляне не ожидали такой скорости. “Одно слово, Молнияяяя”, – прищелкивали языками сенаторы. Флэш действовал ужасно хитро, подначивая разные племена подсирать Риму и убеждая их переходить на свою сторону. Он расшвыривал римские войска, как котят. “Нам песда! Ганнибал у ворот ” – патетично восклицали в сенате.

“Пиздец вы рукожопы!” – сказал Публий Корнелий Сципион в сенате. – Стоило свалиться с ангиной, как вы просрали все полимеры. А ну-ка бля быстро пустите меня в Африку!” И стукнул сандалетом по трибуне.

В Африке Сципион принялся творить безобразия, в Карфагене завопили от ужаса и потребовали Ганнибала Флэша домой. Сципион был тоже не пальцем делан и отпиздил Ганнибала так внушительно, что Карфаген согласился на мир.

Сципион получил прозвище Африканский

Ганнибал стал политиком и вскоре обнаружил коррупционную схему: олигархи пиздили деньги, которые нужно было по договору выплачивать Риму. Честного вояку ничего не стоило подставить, и Ганнибалу пришлось срочно бежать. Селевкиды уже ждали его с распростертыми объятиями. Ганнибал успел поработать на Селевкидов и Вифинию, но Империя Зла их так уверенно теснила, что обе страны согласились на экстрадицию. “Сцыкло ты беспонтовое”, – сказал Ганнибал напоследок царю Вифинии и принял яд. А Вифиния скоро тоже накрылась Римом.

177 comments

  1. Pretty component to content. I simply stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to claim that I acquire in fact enjoyed account your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing in your augment or even I achievement you access persistently rapidly.

  2. Do you have a spam issue on this website; I also am a blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation; many of us have created some nice procedures and we are looking to swap methods with other folks, why not shoot me an e-mail if interested.

  3. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  4. What i do not realize is in reality how you’re not really a lot more smartly-favored than you may be right now. You are so intelligent. You know therefore significantly on the subject of this topic, produced me in my opinion consider it from numerous numerous angles. Its like men and women don’t seem to be interested unless it’s something to accomplish with Woman gaga! Your own stuffs excellent. All the time care for it up!

  5. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  6. Hello would you mind stating which blog platform you’re working with? I’m planning to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a difficult time making a decision between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S My apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

  7. I absolutely love your blog and find the majority of your post’s to be precisely what I’m looking for. Does one offer guest writers to write content available for you? I wouldn’t mind producing a post or elaborating on most of the subjects you write regarding here. Again, awesome web log!

  8. I am extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it’s rare to see a nice blog like this one these days.

  9. Hi there I am so grateful I found your weblog, I really found you by mistake, while I was searching on Aol for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a fantastic post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I dont have time to look over it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the superb jo.

  10. I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you design this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz reply as I’m looking to design my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. thank you

  11. I have been surfing online more than three hours lately, yet I never found any fascinating article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all website owners and bloggers made just right content as you did, the internet can be much more useful than ever before.

  12. Heya terrific blog! Does running a blog like this take a massive amount work? I have very little knowledge of computer programming but I was hoping to start my own blog soon. Anyway, if you have any recommendations or tips for new blog owners please share. I know this is off topic but I just had to ask. Thank you!

  13. Unquestionably believe that that you stated. Your favourite justification appeared to be at the internet the simplest thing to be mindful of. I say to you, I definitely get irked even as other people consider concerns that they plainly do not understand about. You controlled to hit the nail upon the top as smartly as defined out the whole thing with no need side effect , folks can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thank you

  14. you are in point of fact a good webmaster. The site loading velocity is incredible. It kind of feels that you are doing any unique trick. Moreover, The contents are masterpiece. you have performed a magnificent activity in this topic!

  15. Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my iphone and tested to see if it can survive a thirty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  16. Hey there! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site? I’m getting fed up of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at options for another platform. I would be awesome if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

  17. hey there and thank you for your information I’ve definitely picked up anything new from right here. I did however expertise a few technical issues using this web site, since I experienced to reload the web site many times previous to I could get it to load properly. I had been wondering if your hosting is OK? Not that I am complaining, but sluggish loading instances times will often affect your placement in google and can damage your quality score if advertising and marketing with Adwords. Anyway I’m adding this RSS to my e-mail and can look out for a lot more of your respective interesting content. Make sure you update this again soon.

  18. Не знаете, какой подрядчик выбрать для устройства стяжки пола? Обратитесь к нам на сайт styazhka-pola24.ru! Мы предоставляем услуги по залитию стяжки пола любой площади и сложности, а также гарантируем высокое качество работ и доступные цены.

  19. Не знаете, какой подрядчик выбрать для штукатурки стен? Обратитесь к нам на сайт mehanizirovannaya-shtukaturka-moscow.ru! Мы предоставляем услуги по машинной штукатурке стен любой площади и сложности, а также гарантируем высокое качество работ и доступные цены.

  20. I don’t know if it’s just me or if everyone else experiencing problems with your blog. It appears as if some of the text within your posts are running off the screen. Can someone else please comment and let me know if this is happening to them too? This could be a problem with my web browser because I’ve had this happen before. Kudos

  21. Переставьте сомнения в сторону и обратитесь к профессионалам. механизированная штукатурка с mehanizirovannaya-shtukaturka-moscow.ru – это ваш путь к ровным и гладким стенам.

  22. An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a coworker who was doing a little research on this. And he in fact bought me lunch because I found it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending the time to discuss this issue here on your web site.

  23. Прояви смекалку и стратегию в игре Лаки Джет – и ничто не помешает тебе выиграть! Наслаждайся яркими визуальными эффектами и уникальной геймплейной механикой с игрой Лаки Джет.

  24. An intriguing discussion is worth comment. I think that you ought to write more on this subject, it might not be a taboo subject but usually people do not discuss such subjects. To the next! Many thanks!!

  25. I was very happy to discover this site. I wanted to thank you for your time just for this wonderful read!! I definitely enjoyed every bit of it and I have you saved as a favorite to see new stuff on your web site.

  26. Wonderful blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you advise starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m totally confused .. Any suggestions? Thanks a lot!

  27. you are really a just right webmaster. The site loading velocity is incredible. It sort of feels that you are doing any unique trick. Also, The contents are masterpiece. you have performed a great task in this matter!

  28. of course like your website however you need to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I in finding it very bothersome to tell the truth on the other hand I will certainly come back again.

  29. Hmm it seems like your site ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I had written and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to the whole thing. Do you have any recommendations for first-time blog writers? I’d genuinely appreciate it.

  30. Fascinating blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A design like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog shine. Please let me know where you got your design. Appreciate it

  31. Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert that I acquire in fact enjoyed account your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently fast.

  32. I am extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it’s rare to see a nice blog like this one nowadays.

  33. you are in reality a good webmaster. The site loading velocity is incredible. It kind of feels that you are doing any unique trick. Also, The contents are masterpiece. you have performed a fantastic process in this topic!

  34. Wow that was odd. I just wrote an really long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Regardless, just wanted to say superb blog!

  35. Great goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff prior to and you’re simply too great. I really like what you’ve obtained here, really like what you’re stating and the way in which you assert it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to stay it smart. I cant wait to read far more from you. This is actually a wonderful website.

  36. I was very happy to find this site. I want to to thank you for your time due to this wonderful read!! I definitely loved every bit of it and I have you book-marked to see new things on your blog.

  37. Great beat ! I wish to apprentice even as you amend your web site, how can i subscribe for a blog site? The account aided me a applicable deal. I have been tiny bit familiar of this your broadcast provided bright transparent concept

  38. Having read this I thought it was really informative. I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put this information together. I once again find myself spending way too much time both reading and leaving comments. But so what, it was still worth it!

  39. I’m not sure why but this website is loading incredibly slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a problem on my end? I’ll check back later and see if the problem still exists.

  40. Hey There. I found your blog the use of msn. This is an extremely well written article. I will be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful information. Thank you for the post. I will definitely comeback.

  41. Hello there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Nonetheless, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be bookmarking and checking back often!

  42. I like the valuable information you supply in your articles. I will bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently. I am rather certain I will be told lots of new stuff right here! Good luck for the following!

  43. This is the right site for anybody who wants to find out about this topic. You understand so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I actually would want toHaHa). You definitely put a brand new spin on a topic that’s been written about for many years. Excellent stuff, just excellent!

  44. Hi! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before but after going through some of the posts I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back frequently!

  45. An interesting discussion is worth comment. I do believe that you ought to write more on this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but usually people do not speak about such subjects. To the next! Cheers!!

  46. We are a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your web site provided us with valuable information to work on. You have done an impressive job and our whole community will be grateful to you.

  47. I think this is one of the most important information for me. And i’m glad reading your article. But wanna remark on few general things, The website style is great, the articles is really nice : D. Good job, cheers

  48. Thanks for your personal marvelous posting! I genuinely enjoyed reading it, you might be a great author. I will make certain to bookmark your blog and definitely will come back at some point. I want to encourage one to continue your great job, have a nice holiday weekend!

  49. It is appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you few interesting things or advice. Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article. I want to read more things about it!

  50. I will right away seize your rss as I can not in finding your email subscription link or newsletter service. Do you have any? Please allow me recognise so that I may just subscribe. Thanks.

  51. I believe what you postedtypedthink what you postedwrotesaidbelieve what you postedwrotebelieve what you postedtypedsaidWhat you postedtyped was very logicala ton of sense. But, what about this?consider this, what if you were to write a killer headlinetitle?content?typed a catchier title? I ain’t saying your content isn’t good.ain’t saying your content isn’t gooddon’t want to tell you how to run your blog, but what if you added a titlesomethingheadlinetitle that grabbed a person’s attention?maybe get a person’s attention?want more? I mean %BLOG_TITLE% is a little vanilla. You might peek at Yahoo’s home page and watch how they createwrite post headlines to get viewers interested. You might add a video or a related picture or two to get readers interested about what you’ve written. Just my opinion, it might bring your postsblog a little livelier.

  52. Thank you, I have recently been searching for information approximately this topic for a while and yours is the best I have came upon so far. However, what concerning the conclusion? Are you positive about the source?

  53. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was wondering what all is required to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet savvy so I’m not 100% positive. Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated. Kudos

  54. Having read this I thought it was very informative. I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put this short article together. I once again find myself spending way too much time both reading and leaving comments. But so what, it was still worth it!

  55. Hey There. I found your blog the use of msn. This is a very well written article. I will be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful information. Thank you for the post. I will definitely comeback.

  56. I’m not sure where you are getting your info, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for great information I was looking for this information for my mission.

  57. Крупный учебный и научно-исследовательский центр Республики Беларусь. Высшее образование в сфере гуманитарных и естественных наук на 12 факультетах по 35 специальностям первой ступени образования и 22 специальностям второй, 69 специализациям.

Добавить комментарий

Ваш адрес email не будет опубликован. Обязательные поля помечены *