Свеженький асисяй на выходные

Приготовила всякое свежепозыренное на выходные: асисяй смешной костюмный, асисяй пафосный и асисяй дизайнерский.

“Сердцеед” (Le retour du héros), 2018.

Начало 19го века. Доблестный капитан Невиль (Жан Дюжарден) сватается к Полин, дочери благородного семейства. Невеста влюблена страстно, родители умиляются, и лишь сестра Элизабет (Мелани Лоран) злобно и цинично фыркает. И не зря! Капитан отправляется на войну, обещая писать каждый день. И, конечно, врет. Полин вся в печальке, да еще заболевает. Стимула жить нету, любимый пропал. И Элизабет принимается писать письма от его лица. Капитан у нее выходит героем, воякой и преданным влюбленным. Решив, что пора сворачиваться, Элизабет “убивает” капитана, а Полин выходит замуж за другого. Каков же ужас Элизабет, когда в городе она встречает вонючего бомжа, жрущего макрель руками, и узнает в нем капитана! Оказалось, что он дезертир. Но, узнав, что у местных он герой, капитан органично вливается в общество: трахает теток, рассказывает о подвигах и создает финансовую пирамиду. Элизабет только и остается, что в бешенстве скрипеть зубами.

АААА, какой восторг! Парочка Лоран-Дюжарден нечеловечески жгут, аж искры летят. Массовка тоже хороша: родители пучат глаза, сестра Полин прелесть какая дурочка, муж – лопух. Чудное кино для отличного настроения.

“Безумно богатые азиаты” (Crazy Rich Asians), 2018.

Экранизация одноименной книги Кевина Квона.

Рейчел Чу, преподаватель теории азартных игр, уже год встречается с парнем, и ничего не предвещало, как говорится. Но тут их приглашают на свадьбу его друга в Сингапур, где быстро выясняется, что он наследник мегаимперии, семьи, построившей Сингапур. В общем, они чудовищно, отвратительно богаты, а он капец перспективный холостяк, и весь Сингапур уже бьется в припадке, силясь выяснить, что за девицу он везет домой. Девица, которая  ни ухом, ни рылом про богачество, не бьет бойфренда в табло с криками “ты мне врал” и не кидается ему на шею с криком “купи шубу”. Она улыбается и пучится, но пока с пафосом, вроде, справляется. Пока коса не находит на мамо. А мамо сильно против девушки с невнятным происхождением.

Дорого-богато-пафосно-асисяйно. Немедленно хочется отправиться в Сингапур жрать и зырить.

Девица в главной роли не зажгла, парень в главной роли дивно хорош, как и Джемма Чан, которая с одним выражением лица уходит от мужа и покупает серьги за стотыщ мильонов. Мишель Йео тоже с одним выражением – холодной суки. Жжот только подружка главной героини, вот уж кто безумен.

“Любовь и дизайн” (Love in Design), телефильм 2018 года.

Любите шоу про ремонт? Вам сюда. Увы, хрущевки и даже сталинки никто ремонтировать не будет. Главная героиня трудится ведущей в шоу, где ремонтируют старинные дома. Чтобы поднять рейтинг, ее отправляют в родной город реконструировать старинный особняк, местную достопримечтаельность. Чтоб она не сваляла что-то ценное, присматривать за ней приставляют местного архитектора. И им оказывается – упс – ее бывший бойфренд. И смотреть, как они спорят на камеру даже интереснее, чем наблюдать за ремонтом. Который, кстати, почти и не показывают.

 

 

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