История Аси Клячиной: рецензия на фильм Roma

Второй год подгорают пердаки: фильм Netflix опять номинируется на Оскар (целую кучу номинаций).

Клео трудится прислугой в богатом доме, где живет столько детей, что посчитать и получится в лучшем случае к середине фильма. Они все орут, бегают, собака лает и натуралистично срет на тротуар (привет группе “микрорайон Татарка”). У Клео почти нет своей жизни, но когда есть, она встречается с парнем, на лице которого написано большими буквами “подонок”. Клео ожидаемо беременеет, чмо скывается в черно-белой дали, а у хозяйки тоже начинаются проблемы с мужем.

Рецебд для режиссера: Сделайте кино черно-белым. Не используйте красивостей и спецэффектов. Никакой напряженной музыки. Пусть все будет очень натурально (см. собачье говно). Щедрой рукой плесните драмы, ткните зрителю прямо в морду очень маленьким и очень неживым ребенком. Добавьте социальных потрясений, но не делайте их центром повествования. Пусть они будут фоном и немного причиной трагедии. Не забудьте МПО. Растяните все на два часа. Вуаля – критики бьются в припадке, им такого давно не показывали.

А что зритель? Он проснулся на сцене отхождения вод, сказал “ага, все понятно”, второй раз проснулся во время пресловутой сцены на пляже и шморгнул носом.

ПЫСЫ. Рома – это район Мехико.

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