Исторический кружок: тру принц датский

Своего Гамлета Шекспир списал с персонажа многочисленных мифов и легенд, приделав к нему букву Г и кучу выдуманных подробностей типа фразы ту би ор нот ту би. Мне больше всего понравилась саксонская версия, как наиболее упоротая.

Г (Амлет) был сыном правителя Ютландии, Хорвендилла, от Геруты, дочери короля данов. Брат Хорвендилла Фенг поступил с ним гнусно (Вiн обiсцяв мене на полюваннi, коли я мiцно спав. Пiдступною рукою вiн в ухо спрямував брудного хйя. I скоцапиздило моe прекрасне тiло смертельная гангрена*). И женился на его жене. Г (Амлет) прикинулся дypaчкoм, чтоб его не убили. Фенг, впрочем, шото заподозрил и послал к Г (Амлету) его сестру (к счастью, неродную, потому что Г (Амлет) ее поимел, как и задумывалось, но наврал, что нет.

Кино по мотивам этой упоротой истории “Принц Ютландии”

Тогда “хтивий дядько принца” отправил его к своему корешу в Британию с письмом о том, что Г (Амлета) надо порешить. Тут явно виден дядин удивительно тупой технический проеб. Г (Амлет) письмо переписал, и британский правитель сделал то, что от него в письме требовалось: убил спутников Г (Амлета) и женил его на своей дочери.

Прожив годик в Британии, наш герой решил, что пора бы и честь познать. Дома его уже похоронили и отмечали это событие. И тут: “Входить Гамлeт. Вiн в жопу п’яний. В однiй руцi у його дрючок, у другiй шампанськe. Гамлeт пиздить усiх дрючком: пиздячить герба з ведмедем, потiм заливає шампанськоє в рояль i шпроти запускаe туди ж. I по роялю пиздить дрючком. Рояль гуде.”

Хелен Миррен мамо Амлета

В общем, все умерли, а Г (Амлет) вернулся в Британию за женой. Но не тут-то было. Британский правитель ему жену не отдал и отправил его к страшно злобной царице Эрминтруде, в Шотландию. Ну типа чтоб она его убила. Но он на нее попырился, она в него втрескалась и вышла замуж. С двумя женами Г (Амлет) вернулся в Ютландию и стал жить-поживать. Но недолго. Он погиб в бою, а Эрминтруда, даром что обещала умереть вместе с ним, вышла замуж за победителя.

“Iтогi подвeдьом. Упиздив тата. I мамку запиздячив з рiдним дядьком. Попиздив мeбeль ценную, герба нацiонального хуйнув. Усюди смерть, розруха. Не буду бiльше пити я, хоч правда, яка розумная цьому альтернатiва? Пiздець всeм сподiванням. Ех, бл*дська Данiя….”

Про Г (Амлета) в 1994 году сняли кино “Принц Ютландии”, где сверкает сиськами Хелен Миррен, и злодействует Габриэль Бирн. Двух жен, впрочем, убрали из сюжета. Чё наворотят в новом фильме “Северянин”, я хз. Учитывая творческую манеру режиссера Эггерса, всех сожрут чайки и насрут в рояль.

Новый Г (Амлет), кино покажут в 2022 году

*Цитаты на украинском – из Леся Подерев`янського. Он тоже писал про Гамлета, хм.

122 comments

  1. Great goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you’re just too magnificent. I really like what you’ve acquired here, really like what you’re stating and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it sensible. I can not wait to read far more from you. This is actually a terrific website.

  2. Hiya very nice website!! Guy .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your website and take the feeds also? I am satisfied to find so many useful information here in the publish, we’d like develop more strategies in this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .

  3. Great beat ! I wish to apprentice whilst you amend your web site, how can i subscribe for a blog site? The account aided me a applicable deal. I were tiny bit familiar of this your broadcast provided vibrant transparent concept

  4. I do consider all the ideas you have presented on your post. They are very convincing and will definitely work. Still, the posts are too brief for beginners. May you please extend them a bit from next time? Thank you for the post.

  5. Thank you for another fantastic article. Where else may just anyone get that kind of information in such a perfect method of writing? I have a presentation next week, and I am at the look for such information.

  6. Pretty component of content. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to say that I acquire in fact enjoyed account your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing in your augment or even I fulfillment you get right of entry to consistently rapidly.

  7. I truly love your blog.. Pleasant colors & theme. Did you create this site yourself? Please reply back as I’m hoping to create my own website and would like to learn where you got this from or exactly what the theme is called. Appreciate it!

  8. I feel this is one of the such a lot significant information for me. And i’m glad reading your article. However wanna remark on few general things, The website taste is great, the articles is in reality excellent : D. Good process, cheers

  9. I was wondering if you ever considered changing the layout of your site? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or two images. Maybe you could space it out better?

  10. Have you ever thought about publishing an e-book or guest authoring on other sites? I have a blog centered on the same ideas you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my subscribers would enjoy your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e-mail.

  11. Wow that was strange. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Regardless, just wanted to say fantastic blog!

  12. Thanks for your marvelous posting! I really enjoyed reading it, you may be a great author.I will make sure to bookmark your blog and definitely will come back sometime soon. I want to encourage yourself to continue your great writing, have a nice morning!

  13. Hi there this is somewhat of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding knowledge so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  14. It is appropriate time to make a few plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I have read this publish and if I may I want to suggest you few interesting things or suggestions. Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article. I want to read more things approximately it!

  15. Undeniably believe that which you stated. Your favorite justification appeared to be on the internet the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I definitely get irked while people consider worries that they plainly do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well as defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

  16. Its like you read my mind! You seem to understand so much approximately this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you simply could do with some p.c. to pressure the message house a bit, however other than that, this is great blog. An excellent read. I’ll definitely be back.

  17. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  18. Hello there! This article couldn’t be written any better! Looking at this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this information to him. Pretty sure he’ll have a good read. Thanks for sharing!

  19. Hey there! I know this is kinda off topic however I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest writing a blog article or vice-versa? My site discusses a lot of the same subjects as yours and I believe we could greatly benefit from each other. If you might be interested feel free to send me an e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you! Terrific blog by the way!

  20. I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an edginess over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again since exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this increase.

  21. 70408 773237Normally I dont learn post on blogs, nonetheless I wish to say that this write-up really pressured me to try and do it! Your writing taste has been surprised me. Thank you, quite great post. 1539

  22. Хотите получить идеально ровный пол в своей квартире или офисе? Обращайтесь к профессионалам на сайте styazhka-pola24.ru! Мы предоставляем услуги по устройству стяжки пола в Москве и области, а также гарантируем быстрое и качественное выполнение работ.

  23. Нужна стяжка пола в Москве, но вы не знаете, какой подрядчик лучше выбрать? Обратитесь к нам на сайт styazhka-pola24.ru! Мы предоставляем услуги по устройству стяжки пола любой площади и сложности, а также гарантируем качество и надежность.

  24. Heya! I know this is somewhat off-topic but I had to ask. Does running a well-established blog like yours take a massive amount work? I’m completely new to blogging but I do write in my diary daily. I’d like to start a blog so I will be able to share my experience and views online. Please let me know if you have any ideas or tips for new aspiring bloggers. Appreciate it!

  25. Эффективный, быстрый и качественный процесс ремонта это то, что мы предлагаем в виде механизированной штукатурки на mehanizirovannaya-shtukaturka-moscow.ru.

  26. Greetings I am so glad I found your blog page, I really found you by mistake, while I was browsing on Askjeeve for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say thank you for a fantastic post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to browse it all at the minute but I have saved it and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the fantastic job.

  27. Good day I am so grateful I found your web site, I really found you by mistake, while I was researching on Askjeeve for something else, Anyhow I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a fantastic post and a all round interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to look over it all at the minute but I have saved it and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the excellent job.

  28. naturally like your website however you need to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very bothersome to tell the truth on the other hand I will surely come back again.

  29. An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a coworker who was doing a little research on this. And he in fact bought me lunch because I found it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending time to discuss this issue here on your web site.

  30. Howdy! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog. Is it very difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I’m thinking about setting up my own but I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any points or suggestions? Thanks

  31. Лаки Джет 1win – лучший выбор для тех, кто ценит азарт и хочет зарабатывать на своей удаче. Лаки Джет краш на официальном сайте 1win удивит тебя мгновенными выигрышами и яркими эмоциями.

  32. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is great blog. An excellent read. I’ll definitely be back.

  33. I believe what you postedwrotesaidbelieve what you postedwrotebelieve what you postedwrotesaidthink what you postedtypedsaidWhat you postedtypedsaid was very logicala lot of sense. But, what about this?consider this, what if you were to write a killer headlinetitle?content?wrote a catchier title? I ain’t saying your content isn’t good.ain’t saying your content isn’t gooddon’t want to tell you how to run your blog, but what if you added a titlesomethingheadlinetitle that grabbed a person’s attention?maybe get people’s attention?want more? I mean %BLOG_TITLE% is a little plain. You ought to look at Yahoo’s home page and see how they createwrite post headlines to get viewers to click. You might add a related video or a related pic or two to get readers interested about what you’ve written. Just my opinion, it might bring your postsblog a little livelier.

  34. Do you have a spam issue on this site; I also am a blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation; many of us have created some nice procedures and we are looking to trade methods with other folks, be sure to shoot me an e-mail if interested.

  35. Hey there fantastic blog! Does running a blog similar to this take a massive amount work? I have virtually no expertise in programming but I was hoping to start my own blog soon. Anyways, if you have any suggestions or tips for new blog owners please share. I know this is off topic but I just had to ask. Appreciate it!

  36. You’re so cool! I don’t suppose I’ve read something like this before. So good to find someone with a few original thoughts on this topic. Really.. thank you for starting this up. This website is something that’s needed on the web, someone with some originality!

  37. Unquestionably consider that that you stated. Your favourite justification appeared to be at the internet the simplest thing to take into account of. I say to you, I definitely get irked whilst folks consider concerns that they plainly do not understand about. You controlled to hit the nail upon the top as smartlyand also defined out the whole thing with no need side effect , other folks can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thank you

  38. Excellent blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own site soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m totally confused .. Any recommendations? Appreciate it!

  39. Greetings from Carolina! I’m bored to death at work so I decided to check out your website on my iphone during lunch break. I enjoy the knowledge you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m amazed at how quick your blog loaded on my cell phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, wonderful site!

Добавить комментарий

Ваш адрес email не будет опубликован. Обязательные поля помечены *