В отличие от своих дико гнусных собратьев-извращенцев каланов речные выдры действительно милые животные. Причем все, поскольку существует много их видов.
Выдры живут исключительно в чистой воде, потому могут служить индикатором загрязненности. Они могут задерживать дыхание на 8 минут, а погружаясь в воду, они закрывают ноздри и уши. Прищепочки и беруши им не нужны.
Выдра жрет и не толстеет. У нее бешеный метаболизм, за час все всасывается и приходится опять искать жратву.
Когда выдр хочет любви и ласки, он ищет подходящую тётку. Если тетка согласна, выдры начинают нырять, плавать, извиваться, нежно друг друга покусывать и всячески играть. Если мужик не пришелся по душе, самка отправляет его нахй, и он идёт. Потому что выдры очень милые.
Выдры в принципе очень игривы. Считается, что они так познают мир и чему-то там учатся.
Секс у выдр в основном происходит в воде. В МПО у выдруна – кость. И современные учёные, которым нечем заняться, кроме измерения выдрячьих хуев, выяснили, что сейчас хуи стали короче. Бедные выдрицы.
Щенки рождаются в воде, но не умеют плавать, так что выдрицам приходится их учить.
Одна из немногих милых вещей у каланов, сиречь морских выдр, – это няшные отношения матери и щенка: маленькие спят на маме, а с подрощенными они держатся за лапки, чтоб ночью не отнесло в океан. Потом из пацанов, правда, все равно вырастают злобные уебки.
Но речные выдры не такие! Даже гигантские.
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